Thank you, Janisse. My mom came from a mom who resented her only child, but Mom had a dad who loved her no matter what. Somehow that was enough for Mom to grow into a loving parent herself, and I feel very fortunate to have been her youngest kid! Blessings.
Thanks! She was the best. When she and my dad lived in Tucson, they taught birdwatching and nature id classes through Tucson Audubon. I've met a lot of people who credited Mom for their love of nature.
Oh Susan! Such a wonderful paean to your mother. Thank you for sharing her with us. Naturally, this piece triggered memories of my own mother, who died at 52. She also grew up during the Depression and lived through the trauma of seeing her young husband sail off to the South Pacific in 1944... But through everything she remained empathetic, open-hearted and optimistic. I am deeply grateful to have had her as a role model.
Thank you, Liz. I thought this would remind you of your own mother, and I am glad you have such wonderful memories of her despite her years with MS. Your mom and mine are both beloved, which is probably part of why we are such good friends!
Thank you, Susan. Knowing a bit about your mother helps me know you better, too. I find it amazing that she had perfect pitch; perhaps that helped to compensate for her color blindness.
I think her hearing and pitch were improved by both her color blindness and severe nearsightedness. Neither of which kept her from graduating from Berkeley Phi Beta Kappa, or earning a master's degree magna cum laude (in library science, no less). She was not perfect, but she was amazing, and I am truly grateful to have had her as a mom.
No wonder she was so open to beauty and hope - she was a librarian! We librarians are fascinated by ideas and strive to be open minded when we can, at least when things aren't vile or nasty. That's how I see it. You have made me again think gratefully about my mother who grew up in the early 1900s and of course lived through the Great Depression and WWII. I wish she had told me about that time, but neither she or my father spoke about it. I think perhaps it was too painful. I just wish I knew more, but my memories are of a loving family, and that has given me a foundation for my outlook.
Nancy, I agree that my mom was a librarian because she was open-minded and believed in beauty and hope. :) She loved library science and had a wonderful career, and then founded the library at Tucson Audubon Society as a volunteer, and helped fund the organization by selling rare and unusual books on birds that were donated. I am glad that your mom and dad survived the hard times of the Great Depression and WWII without losing their ability to be loving parents--and that they gave you that as their gift. Bless them for it!
Thanks, Jill! I've written about her in two of my books, both memoir, and after she read the first, she said, "You see me differently than I do." "Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?" I asked. She thought for a moment and then said, "Neither. Just different. And I appreciate your view." I let out a big breath I hadn't realized I was holding, and she smiled. Whew!
It is a challenge to write about people you know, especially family! My mom read all of my work--whether I wanted her to or not--until she couldn't because of Alzheimer's. She often had very perceptive comments. Sometimes I didn't appreciate her feedback on first reading, especially if I hadn't asked for it. But on reflection, I could always appreciate your viewpoint. I learned a lot from that effort. :)
This is wonderful to read, and to see the photos. Your parents were just five years or so younger than mine. They too had a wonderful, long relationship. I have been going through some of my old writings and just pulled out a blog I wrote 12 years ago about my 85-year-old dad as he spoke to the gathered family. Such a privilege to grow up like this!
I also like it that your mother had perfect pitch! I can come close, but can’t be perfect!
How fun that our parents were the same generation! And what a sweet thing to have your own writing from when your dad was still alive. I hope you have lots of stories, memories and pictures from your parents. I did my best to get my folks to tell me family stories, but neither of them were really good at that, and they were both only children, so there are lots of times when I think, "Oh, I wish I had asked Mom this, or asked Dad about that." But I didn't, so that's life.
My mom was quite the musician, and could step outside and recognize hundreds of bird calls and songs. She was not a patient teacher though--I flunked piano lessons with her! I don't have her perfect pitch, but I have more musical talent than my dad did--he was always flat, especially in church, where so many of the hymns are in minor key. I'm somewhere in the middle. :)
Sharon, I'm sorry that it was such a pain to set up your Substack profile! Thank you for making the effort.
My mom was my best cheerleader, and my most astute editor. (Whether or not I wanted either!) She was an amazing person--not perfect--but definitely wonderful. I cared for her and Richard through their last years at the same time, and never felt like I had enough time/energy/attention for both of them, but I did my best, which is all we can do.
Thank you. I've written about my mom in a couple of my books, and I am careful to note that she wasn't perfect, but she was a wonderful mom for me. Which makes me fortunate, I think. I like to remind us all that while there is a lot of difficult stuff in the world, there is also a lot of light and love, and it's critical in these times to remember the good!
I'm a biologist too, and in my case it was my father's naturalist hobbies that brought my mom - 18, adoring and straight out of high school, into a lovely match of love of nature and love of each other. I so enjoyed your story. And you're right, times of war and repression increase the value of remembering the beauty, humanity, love and light in our lives and those of others.
That's a sweet story, and one that perhaps you'll write someday. We have a lot in common, judging by your other comment on my Querencia essay. Perhaps we'll meet in person someday.
I am heartbroken by the state of the world today. I know there have been harder times, but for me, looking at my final furlong, it is especially difficult to see the pain of we humans and the damage to this living planet when I thought we were making progress towards a more sustainable and equitable future for all.
I am so grateful for my family 'clan'. We are all diverse in our work, politics, and religious beliefs, but are solidly behind each other when life squeezes and tips us over. We remind each other of the goodness found in most people, that beautiful things, however small, can be found every day. Most of all, we know that love, respect and civility can override anger and keep us from packing too much negative baggage around. It's never easy, or black and white, but worth knowing we're not alone, and that the crowd behind us is very solid.
And bless you for nurturing that clan with love and respect! I believe that your example and your actions have helped create a family that does support each other without falling into the trap of needing to always agree. That is a beautiful gift, and one I know makes a difference in this world.
I hope you're seeing spring sings there in the southern Bighorn Basin too. :)
Those who have moved on to whatever is next after this life are still wish us, it seems to me, in who we are and all we do. Their influence, their words, their actions shaped us and the world as it is in small and large ways. I talk to my beloved dead often, appreciating them for who I am!
Yes, I agree. I read David Kelsey's book on Meaning, the Sixth Stage of Grief last year. He had a chapter on how our relationship can change with someone even after they die. I continue to discover the truth of that.
Beautiful writing about gratitude and good mothers.
Thank you, Janisse. My mom came from a mom who resented her only child, but Mom had a dad who loved her no matter what. Somehow that was enough for Mom to grow into a loving parent herself, and I feel very fortunate to have been her youngest kid! Blessings.
I would like to have known and hiked with your mom!
Thanks! She was the best. When she and my dad lived in Tucson, they taught birdwatching and nature id classes through Tucson Audubon. I've met a lot of people who credited Mom for their love of nature.
Oh Susan! Such a wonderful paean to your mother. Thank you for sharing her with us. Naturally, this piece triggered memories of my own mother, who died at 52. She also grew up during the Depression and lived through the trauma of seeing her young husband sail off to the South Pacific in 1944... But through everything she remained empathetic, open-hearted and optimistic. I am deeply grateful to have had her as a role model.
Thank you, Liz. I thought this would remind you of your own mother, and I am glad you have such wonderful memories of her despite her years with MS. Your mom and mine are both beloved, which is probably part of why we are such good friends!
Thank you, Susan. Knowing a bit about your mother helps me know you better, too. I find it amazing that she had perfect pitch; perhaps that helped to compensate for her color blindness.
I think her hearing and pitch were improved by both her color blindness and severe nearsightedness. Neither of which kept her from graduating from Berkeley Phi Beta Kappa, or earning a master's degree magna cum laude (in library science, no less). She was not perfect, but she was amazing, and I am truly grateful to have had her as a mom.
No wonder she was so open to beauty and hope - she was a librarian! We librarians are fascinated by ideas and strive to be open minded when we can, at least when things aren't vile or nasty. That's how I see it. You have made me again think gratefully about my mother who grew up in the early 1900s and of course lived through the Great Depression and WWII. I wish she had told me about that time, but neither she or my father spoke about it. I think perhaps it was too painful. I just wish I knew more, but my memories are of a loving family, and that has given me a foundation for my outlook.
Nancy, I agree that my mom was a librarian because she was open-minded and believed in beauty and hope. :) She loved library science and had a wonderful career, and then founded the library at Tucson Audubon Society as a volunteer, and helped fund the organization by selling rare and unusual books on birds that were donated. I am glad that your mom and dad survived the hard times of the Great Depression and WWII without losing their ability to be loving parents--and that they gave you that as their gift. Bless them for it!
Goodness, your mom contributed so much to the Tucson area with the library and her donations. Isn't it amazing what our families did?
Absolutely! I hope we are leaving a similar legacy of generosity and compassion for each other and this earth.
Thank you for sharing.
You are welcome, Linda, and thank you for reading and subscribing!
A lovely portrait of your mother!
Thanks, Jill! I've written about her in two of my books, both memoir, and after she read the first, she said, "You see me differently than I do." "Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?" I asked. She thought for a moment and then said, "Neither. Just different. And I appreciate your view." I let out a big breath I hadn't realized I was holding, and she smiled. Whew!
Writing about people you know is always tricky and I'm happy to hear she could appreciate your view of her. What a delightful response she had.
It is a challenge to write about people you know, especially family! My mom read all of my work--whether I wanted her to or not--until she couldn't because of Alzheimer's. She often had very perceptive comments. Sometimes I didn't appreciate her feedback on first reading, especially if I hadn't asked for it. But on reflection, I could always appreciate your viewpoint. I learned a lot from that effort. :)
This is wonderful to read, and to see the photos. Your parents were just five years or so younger than mine. They too had a wonderful, long relationship. I have been going through some of my old writings and just pulled out a blog I wrote 12 years ago about my 85-year-old dad as he spoke to the gathered family. Such a privilege to grow up like this!
I also like it that your mother had perfect pitch! I can come close, but can’t be perfect!
How fun that our parents were the same generation! And what a sweet thing to have your own writing from when your dad was still alive. I hope you have lots of stories, memories and pictures from your parents. I did my best to get my folks to tell me family stories, but neither of them were really good at that, and they were both only children, so there are lots of times when I think, "Oh, I wish I had asked Mom this, or asked Dad about that." But I didn't, so that's life.
My mom was quite the musician, and could step outside and recognize hundreds of bird calls and songs. She was not a patient teacher though--I flunked piano lessons with her! I don't have her perfect pitch, but I have more musical talent than my dad did--he was always flat, especially in church, where so many of the hymns are in minor key. I'm somewhere in the middle. :)
Learning about your mother really helped shape the how and why you are the woman you are.
She was fabulous and would be so very proud of all that her daughter has accomplished.
I loved this posting and am so glad I figured out the "handle" thing. Sending love.
Sharon, I'm sorry that it was such a pain to set up your Substack profile! Thank you for making the effort.
My mom was my best cheerleader, and my most astute editor. (Whether or not I wanted either!) She was an amazing person--not perfect--but definitely wonderful. I cared for her and Richard through their last years at the same time, and never felt like I had enough time/energy/attention for both of them, but I did my best, which is all we can do.
Love this tribute to your mom...
Thanks, Sue! I was lucky in my parents. :)
A very beautiful tribute to your mother. I always enjoy reading about good family relations and good relations in general. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you. I've written about my mom in a couple of my books, and I am careful to note that she wasn't perfect, but she was a wonderful mom for me. Which makes me fortunate, I think. I like to remind us all that while there is a lot of difficult stuff in the world, there is also a lot of light and love, and it's critical in these times to remember the good!
Yes, I agree, especially the good and the kindness shown.
Sweet memories!
Indeed, and thanks for reading, Linda. I hope all is well in your world!
I'm a biologist too, and in my case it was my father's naturalist hobbies that brought my mom - 18, adoring and straight out of high school, into a lovely match of love of nature and love of each other. I so enjoyed your story. And you're right, times of war and repression increase the value of remembering the beauty, humanity, love and light in our lives and those of others.
That's a sweet story, and one that perhaps you'll write someday. We have a lot in common, judging by your other comment on my Querencia essay. Perhaps we'll meet in person someday.
I am heartbroken by the state of the world today. I know there have been harder times, but for me, looking at my final furlong, it is especially difficult to see the pain of we humans and the damage to this living planet when I thought we were making progress towards a more sustainable and equitable future for all.
I am so grateful for my family 'clan'. We are all diverse in our work, politics, and religious beliefs, but are solidly behind each other when life squeezes and tips us over. We remind each other of the goodness found in most people, that beautiful things, however small, can be found every day. Most of all, we know that love, respect and civility can override anger and keep us from packing too much negative baggage around. It's never easy, or black and white, but worth knowing we're not alone, and that the crowd behind us is very solid.
And bless you for nurturing that clan with love and respect! I believe that your example and your actions have helped create a family that does support each other without falling into the trap of needing to always agree. That is a beautiful gift, and one I know makes a difference in this world.
I hope you're seeing spring sings there in the southern Bighorn Basin too. :)
Thanks for the reminder to be grateful for all whom I love, dead and living.
Those who have moved on to whatever is next after this life are still wish us, it seems to me, in who we are and all we do. Their influence, their words, their actions shaped us and the world as it is in small and large ways. I talk to my beloved dead often, appreciating them for who I am!
Yes, I agree. I read David Kelsey's book on Meaning, the Sixth Stage of Grief last year. He had a chapter on how our relationship can change with someone even after they die. I continue to discover the truth of that.
What a lovely tribute to your mother!
Thanks, Karen! She was not perfect, but she was amazing. I miss her.
Easy to see how you come by your love of the land. Wonderful memories.
Thanks much, Judy A! I was fortunate in my family. (Not that I got to choose, but I was lucky nonetheless.)